The Flatline : Home to an Array of My Bullshit

#barack #obama certainly doesn’t want my #vote @barackobama he has a #horse #emailing me #sjp #sarahjessicaparker #politics #potus (Taken with instagram)

Some #art of #georgewashington at the #met #potus (Taken with instagram)

at the #met #nyc #georgewashington #art #delaware #potus (Taken with instagram)

“This is the long-form (birth certificate, left) they released today. It is actually shorter than the short-form. …We demand a foot-long form! It only costs five dollars!”

— STEPHEN COLBERT, The Colbert Report

via(inothernews)

“This is the long-form (birth certificate, left) they released today. It is actually shorter than the short-form. …We demand a foot-long form! It only costs five dollars!”

— STEPHEN COLBERT, The Colbert Report

via(inothernews)

(via therealscumbagsteve)

Where are you in Wisconsin obama? You got the shoes for helping those being screwed out of collective bargaining agreements? Let’s not even get started on foreign policy right now……that’s another one. Also let it be known I was a support of Obama since 2007. I also will be voting for him again because the republicans don’t have a chance in the wind of beating that man. Sigh. I wish I could just sign out of the bullshit we as american people get shoveled to us.

Presidential Portraits of the Day: The Presidential Ham: 43 Presidents / 43 hams.

Oil painting portraits of each U.S. President cradling a ham (cured pork). Don’t worry, the hams are not real.

T-shirts, prints, postcards, and mugs are available in The Presidential Ham Shop.

My first act as President will be to make these the official portraits of record.

[bijijoo / h/t: reddit.]

(via thedailywhat)

Presidential First of the Day: Last week, while “scooting around Hawaii,” President Obama donned flip-flops, becoming the first President to be spotted in public “wearing nothing more than a flimsy strip of rubber on his feet.”

Not surprisingly, Fox Nation has a problem with this.

[h/t: j-walk / photo: reuters.]

And So It Begins of the Day: President Barack Obama, in Japan to attend the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit, meets with the humanoid robot delegation.

[dvice.]

John Mccain coulda been our president…think about that….

So This Happened of the Day: A week early, but it’s the thought that counts.

[@senjohnmccain.]

Photo of the Day: First Lady Michelle Obama plays hopscotch at Mumbai University with underprivileged children from India’s Make A Difference charity, Saturday, November 6, 2010.

[nydn / photo: ap / thanks samit!]

I guess this is mostly for the republicans who feel obama is fucking them…..well….why not just go ‘all the way’

This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day: Remember how you called me up the other night and were all like, “what’s the deal with there being no vibrator shaped like President Obama?”

Well, it seems the sex fairy overheard our convo, because here you go.

[bwe.]

Official White House Photo of the Day: “President Barack Obama discusses the situation in Sudan with actor George Clooney during a meeting outside the Oval Office, Oct. 12, 2010.”

Ocean’s Fourteen: This time, it’s presidential.

[whflickr.]

So This Happened YesterDay: Obama experiences a lectern malfunction, laughs it off like a President.

[reddit.]

New Developments of the Day: Hold the phone. Obama isn’t a Muslim? Then why is he using taxpayer money to personally construct a socialist same-sex abortion mosque for Al Qaeda on top of a pile of dead 9/11 first responders?
It just doesn’t add up.
[spiegelman / pareene.]

New Developments of the Day: Hold the phone. Obama isn’t a Muslim? Then why is he using taxpayer money to personally construct a socialist same-sex abortion mosque for Al Qaeda on top of a pile of dead 9/11 first responders?

It just doesn’t add up.

[spiegelman / pareene.]

This Thing Looks Like That Thing of the Day: Barack Obama: He signs his documents with a penis.

Problem?

[accidentalpenis.]